Greetings everyone, let me show you how I am stopping eBay scams all over the world! My name is Arsey and I run this mad house. That`s me in the pic to your left, please try and keep the drooling to a minimum : )

It has been said that I can be a bit of an arse at times and thats why I have created this website; to help you expose other people like me!

Although I was once one of the biggest arses around I am now a reformed character. I like nothing more than spending a night at the theatre and eating jam sandwiches in front of the fire. All of those ASBOs are now just a distant memory!

Looking back on my past makes my stomach churn. I don`t want to go into too much detail or I will get very upset and my doctor says that isn`t good for me. Here is a brief summary though. Hopefully it will give you a better understanding of why I created this website:-

I was brought up by my mother and father in a quiet neighbourhood in the middle of parts unknown. I lived on the same street as the Ultimate Warrior and Papa Shango ; )

I had a good life. I never wanted for anything but one day something about me changed. I suddenly felt anger towards my family members and close friends. This anger slowly got worse. I would start by doing little things like spitting on my cat`s head and blaming it on my 2-year-old brother.
Spitting on cats` heads quickly turned to spitting on other people. I even once spat on a blind person and told him it was raining, that`s how low I sank.

That was, however, only the tip of the iceberg. One day, after I came home from an evening of spitting on the defenceless, my father walked me into the lounge and showed me a piece of kit I had never seen before. It was a brand new home PC with full internet access.

I quickly sat down and loaded up my first ever webpage. It was the Google search engine. My parents were in the kitchen and my brother was in bed. I had the PC all to myself. Still being new to the internet, I didn`t know what to search for.
As I said previously, I have a cat, so I decided to search for "fun things to do with your pussy cat". The results that came back were somewhat surprising to a youngster who lived in a small village. Suffice to say the results had very little to do with cats! I quickly got a taste for the down right nasty and within a couple of weeks I had a hard drive full of videos and pics. I had everything from leg breaks to people shitting themselves in public - I loved it!

My life was about to change again though. One night I stumbled across the now world famous auction site "eBay". As soon as I saw eBay I saw an opportunity - millions of hard-working, trusting people all trading with each other, they were sitting ducks! I quickly opened an account and started selling items that I didn`t have. I would take the money and then tell the buyer to go screw themselves! I would often "buy" items that I didn`t even want. When it came to paying for the items, I would tell the seller to go and jump! I would even leave them a negative feedback for their troubles. I was involved in more eBay scams than I care to remember! They would often try and contact me via email and phone but the idiots didn`t realise that I hadn`t provided eBay with my real contact details. Did they think I was stupid?!

This reign of terror had been going on for a good 6 months when then one day, just as I was about to sell my 5th "Brand new PSP console" for the day, I heard a strange voice screaming "doooooooooon`t dooooooo ittttttt", "doooooooooon`t dooooooo itttttt". I used to be a religious person and realised that this was a message from the Lord. I had to stop being such an arse or I would turn out just like one of the Gallagher brothers, an icon for the stupid! From that moment on I turned over a new leaf, I would stop being such an arse, I would instead help people so they didn`t turn out like me!

Just a side note, it turns out that the voices I heard were not from the Lord, but from my Dad`s TV in the bedroom. I later found out he was watching Chalire`s Anals with the volume turned up. My first task was to help my Dad overcome his porno habit! He explained to me that my mother no longer did it for him so he needed something different to get him excited. I decided to tell him that cheap pornos were not the answer. I sent him off to the chemist to buy some Viagra - surely that would fix his mojo problem. When he returned I asked him if he managed to get it over the counter. He told me he had to take 2 but he just about managed it!

With my dad`s problem fixed I turned my attention to eBay. I knew that eBay was rife with arses so something needed to be done. This problem was too big for me to tackle on my own, I needed some help. That`s where this site comes in! I will use this site to report as many auction-arses as possible and I need your help. If you have had a dealing with an arse on eBay then do your fellow eBayers a favour and share your story with the world. With your help we can beat the arses and make the world a better place!

As an even bigger incentive you can win prizes for posting your story. I am risking financial ruin to try and make the world a better place. I consider myself to be the Steve Irwin of eBay, just without all of the Khaki!

So there you have it, that`s what my website is all about. Please, please help my cause and report an arse today! Feel free to come and chat with me and other like-minded people in our forum!